Fabulous Alderney Part 2

        Lying in the love bed I felt like Cleopatra, all that was missing was a couple of oiled up hunky young men feeding me grapes. Well, a girl can dream. I dragged myself out of bed, showered and dressed for breakfast. The day was beautiful and very warm so I decided it was time to bring out the green shorts Greg had bought for me a couple of days before. I must have looked a complete site as I walked down with Yvonne to breakfast in green pumps, lime green socks (rolled down of course) my green shorts and my green and blue top I had bought in South Africa a few years before. I must have looked like a deformed garden pea. Well, a least you could not miss me. Asked if we would like to have breakfast outside on the terrace we both jumped at the chance. Looking back I think the hotel staff thought it was best to keep me away from other guests so I did not scare them.
Breakfast was mouth watering good. Ever since I arrived in the Channel Islands all I have wanted for breakfast is pancakes with maple syrup and two pieces of bacon. I was not disappointed but I have to say you cannot beat Guernsey butter on your toast. Listen to me I am starting to sound like those two prats off Master Chef.
        After Breakfast I decided to mince up the hill to the town centre, when I got there it was a cobbled street with a few shops in it. After walking up and down I jump into the cafe called Jack's for morning coffee. Now I cannot tell a lie having already been told that a couple of Gay men had just opened the cafe I minced over to the terrace outside and sat down. Honey I was in Gay man Heaven, two handsome sexy men with muscles rippling everywhere, who were running around serving all the tourists and locals with such grace and style. I ordered and watched the performance. Next on my list was a shoe shop Yvonne just adores so off I went to introduce myself to the owner.
        Sue is a local character, after explaining who I was and what I was up to she had great pleasure in telling me "We have a lot of you gays on the island about 50 or 60" Well I can just imagine the parties on a cold winter's night that would be fun. If they all looked like the two in the cafe I was heading straight back to Guernsey and packing and moving here. But life is a queer old thing and I bet most are over the age of 70. Her shop was crammed full of shoes, plates, perfume, jewellery, bags and more. I got the impression if Sue did not have it she would get it for you.

        To pass some time I decided to have a quick look around the charity shop. Cannot help myself always looking for Blue and white Spode which is a passion of mine. No luck with the china but had a giggle with to old girls chatting about what was the best kitchen utensil to use to pull out weeds from the garden. I thought they were going to have a stroke when I said it did not matter what utensil was being used as long as it was being used by a fabulous looking gardener with tight shorts on bending over pulling them out for me. (I do mean the weeds).
        The next morning after breakfast Yvonne and I were whisked back to the 1950's airport for the flight home. Then my worst nightmare began.
I love Australians and love their accent, what I do not like is English people who have moved over there for a few years and try to copy. It just sounds like they have a cork stuck up them. Standing opposite us was one such woman, who was loud very loud and did not shut up for one-second. I knew this was going to be the longest 15 minute flight ever. I think this old bag only drew breath once and only stopped when the captain introduced himself. To my relief I was sitting next to the engine so her voice was drowned out but could still see her mouth moving. I reckon if you did a drugs test on her she must have been full of speed.
Alderney is beautiful and very calming, a place I would recommend to anyone, Gay, straight, young and old even lesbians. The population is full of characters who welcome everyone and all have large smiles on there faces.
I had a fabulous Gay time in Alderney and I am really looking forward to taking my Husband and son there soon for a couple of days. Plus must remember to pack some rope for that four poster bed.

Fabulous Alderney

View from my room.

        To my surprise I was asked to go with Yvonne on a business trip to our sister hotel in Alderney. The main purpose for the trip for me was to check out the island and hotel to see if it would be a great place for gay couples to spend a few days. I am not talking about silly little princesses who have just picked up a rich old coffin dodger for the weekend but for mature gay couples over 35. I can hear you screaming  that 35 is not mature but in this Gay world over 27 and your past it and over 30 your dead and yes in this Gay world I have been pushing up daisies for a very long time.
When it comes to travelling on a plane I struggle with anything other than First class. I know that I'm a snob but there is so many common people around, one has enough problems to deal with than to listen to some scrubber going on about her 7 children and how proud she is of her Jimmy who has stayed out of prison long enough to see his 3rd child born and to celebrate his 16th birthday.
      My eyes widened when I saw the aircraft we would be travelling in. A Trilander, which seats 16 and that includes the pilot. First we had to wait to be called, Fat people at the front next to the pilot and to my relief Yvonne and I were at the back being so slim. No room on this aircraft for a trolley dolly and I do find it uneasy to be able to see the captain, but still he had a pleasant voice so if the last words I ever heard were "Brace Brace" then I would be at ease bobbing up and down in the water blowing on my whistle. The journey only took 15 minutes and I did not have time to flick through the on board magazine and before I knew it we were going down quicker than a reality television star on a footballer.
      All I can say about the airport is it is so back in the 1950's. We both minced out of the airport to be met by this dishy Taxi driver waiting to pick us up and we were whisked off to the Hotel. Alderney is not that big an island so before I could turn my mobile back on we were there.

     The hotel is Beautiful and in a stunning location right on the sea front. You can walk from the terrace straight onto the beach. Every member of staff had large smiles on their faces and we were given our keys and off we marched to our bedrooms. Yvonne was in room 21 and she gave me room 24. Wow what a room. Two windows overlooking the beach and a four poster bed. Why is it that when you get a room you can have fun in your alone? Posts on a four poster bed are meant to be used not to look at. Note to self must bring husband back for a couple of days. Not to look around the island but to use the bed.
       The evening was wonderful, drinks in the pub next door then off just around the corner to a fab restaurant which again was from the 50's and a wonderful camp old girl in her 80's who you know would be game for anything. I fell in love with her straight away when she proceeded to tell us that there were children down stairs and she hated children. A Lady after my own heart. If I had my way any woman who got pregnant should be sent to Australia and the child could only return once they had reached 18 and only if they were good looking.

The love bed

      After returning to the hotel we had one more nightcap and then off to our bedrooms. Finding the room was easy but Yvonne had this idea she was in room 19 not 21, so after pulling her away from 19 and the old man behind the door thinking his luck was in I glided her to room 21, saying good night and minced off to my waiting four poster. I had to have another shower to sober a bit up before climbing into my love bed all alone. I fell asleep very quickly only to be woken up gagging for a drink and dripping with the heat in the room. I pulled back the curtains and opened the windows to hear and see the most beautiful morning and the waves gently crashing onto the beach.  It was Fabulous all I wanted to do was to get dressed and walk along the beach until I looked at my mobile and checked the time........4.30am and I was wide wake, so I just lay back in bed and watched the day breaking and I knew this was going to be a Fabulous Gay day..............To be continued.