Time to find a Fag Hag. Part 1

Tonight I have been invited to a girls night out..... My first proper outing in St. Peter Port. Having major problems to overcome before I even set out tonight. First thing is there is not much in the wardrobe, you will be thinking it does not matter what Disnarc wears, even wearing a black plastic bag and I will out class everyone else but I do really want to make a good impression. Really do need to find a good hairdresser. I am missing Steve who has cut my hair for the last 7 years. What that man could do with his hands was fabulous plus he was very pleasant to look at as well. So every month it was a win win situation for me, a straight man running his big hands through my hair and in the end walking out of the salon looking a bit younger than when I walked in. At 43 the grey hairs are a major issue and Steve was always there with sympathy and his large hands.
The only decent shirt in the wardrobe is the blue designer shirt Greg bought for me at last years Gay pride in Truro, so it will have to do with a pair of jeans and Greg's shoes. One tip for anyone, marry a man who has the same shoe size, as you can save a fortune.
One of my main reason for going out is to find a new fag hag. A good fag hag is really hard to find. Having been very lucky over the years, I enjoy woman's company. I don't want to sleep with them I just enjoy being with them. The talking, shopping, drinking, gossiping and did I mention shopping. Not really much to ask for but it's like looking for a needle in a haystack.
I have always enjoyed getting ready to go out more than then main event. Ironing the clothes, shaving and then the face mask. The long shower washing your hair and putting the conditioner on. Why I do that I really don't know. My hair is always harder to manage than when I just wash and go, but it's my routine and I enjoy every minute. Perfume is the most important thing, spraying every bit of me and then the clothes, walking outside I always smell like a hooker's handbag. So after 3 hours I am ready and always very hyper, excited and a little moist about what the night might bring.
Before I can do any of that I must mince off to town and find a hairdresser. A quick prayer in the hope Steve cannot be parted from me and has moved over and started his salon here......................................
To be continued.

Moving to Guernsey

Thursday 26th May 2011

Good morning gay world, my name is Disnarc and I thought I would start to blog.......... 
I am 43 years old, married to Greg and we have a 14 year old son and a 3 year old beagle girl called Holly-May. We have just moved to Guernsey from Truro in Cornwall and I thought it would be a good idea to keep a log of my new life. 
I know your thinking why has a old Queen ended up on an island ? Well, my dear husband was offered a job on the island and we really could not say no. Well I could have said no but I knew I had to leave Truro when told my sister is due to move there in a couple of years and no one was  going to get me to stay in the same place as her. So everything was packed up. I was bubble wrapped up to my nipples and we moved over here 3 weeks ago. We are staying in an apartment until our cottage is ready and all our furniture and life ( all my clothes, hair products, shoes etc etc) are in storage until we move in.
There are things you must know about me first. I cannot hide being Gay. It pours from me in bucket loads. There is not one butch bone in my body, even if you put me in an army uniform and gave me a gun I could make that look camp. I never hold back in saying what needs to be said, so if you think your ass looks big in something I will tell you. Best example is I think I am the only person to have told the present Bishop of Truro he's a twat twice to his face. So no one frightens me from a millionaire to a beggar I treat everyone the same. Well that is a slight lie, lesbians and some members of my family I have issues with but that is for the future.
How the fuck is a small island going to cope with a Queen like me ?
How the fuck is a Queen like me going to cope with a small island?
Does this island sell Sloe gin?
Will I be able to find good fag hags?
These are a couple of questions my blog is going to try and answer as I try and make a new and fun life for my family here on Guernsey, with a little bit of campness and a lot of smiles. 
Whoever reads my blogs I hope you enjoy.
I hope everyone has a Fab Gay Day.
Disnarc
x