Up to my nipples in the bathroom

           I have always been up to my nipples in something. Housework, shopping, Gin which is one of my favourite or other people's business. Housework is the one I hate the most. Never have been very good with it and it's a struggle when you live with a clean freak like my dear husband. The worst room in the house for me is the bathroom. I think it's because my Mother has an obsession with bleach. If you stand long enough in her house you will be bleached. Michael Jackson would have saved a fortune if he had come and stayed with her for a couple of weeks. Bleaching for her is a passion and I am sure that woman is addicted to it. Bet she gets moist just opening the lid and high as a kite the minute she starts pouring it around and starts to scrub. Greg is just like her, making sure every nook and cranny is sparkling.  For me it's a quick spray and wipe and that is an effort. The arguments that have taken place in our household over cleaning would make your pubs curl even more.
          Once after a long day at work my dear husband came home and told me what a pig I was for letting the bathroom get into a disgusting state and wanted the room to be sparkling to his standard by the time he got home the next day. Fair point, at that time I was not working and he was working long and hard hours. Ok please do not feel sorry for him. Greg is a workaholic who thinks a 12 hour day is  quiet. I am completely different I get puffed out just switching the channels over on the television. I can always find something else to be busy with than cleaning that bathroom.

         So the next morning with a pink pair of rubber gloves on I minced into the bathroom for a deep clean. I can hear you asking "but what did you clean it with Disnarc?" Well, my dear reader I always find the best thing to clean a bathroom with is a toothbrush. Yes, you did read it right.......A toothbrush. To be totally correct His toothbrush.
 Scrubbing and cleaning, that toothbrush went everywhere, down sinks, up drains and in every nook and cranny just like my dear old mother had taught me, and then finally the item I hate the most......... the toilet. Oh that toilet was cleaned to an inch of its life and once I had finished I placed the toothbrush back in its home ready to be used for what it was bought for.
         Greg was so pleased when he got home that night. The bathroom looked like new, sparkling and shining, you could eat your dinner off that floor. He was very impressed with the toilet even remarking he was amazed how I had got all the stains off. I proceeded to clean the bathroom twice a week exactly the same way. That toothbrush worked it's magic and I am sure even Greg's teeth looked whiter than ever before.
          I eventually told the truth after three months had gone by and now every two months Greg goes and buys a new toothbrush and sometimes I catch him sniffing it just before he places it into his mouth. After nearly 21 years together Greg knows now that I will get to the bathroom in my own time because I am always up to my nipples doing something better than having my arm down a toilet pan scrubbing. There is a moral to this story, first never piss off a Queen. We win in the end and you will always come off worse, much worse in the long run and secondly use a toothbrush to get all those nasty stains away from your bathroom and make sure he does not catch you doing it.